Cracker Jacks were once incredible boxes of sugar, love, baseball, and a free "surprise inside". They are still important in the baseball world, mainly thanks to the song that nudged it into the realm of necessary snack at a ball game. The difference between the new jacks and the original: the "surprise". Maybe I just have assumptions based on stories told through movies, but weren't rings, whistles, or some other three dimensional practical object those wonderful surprises awaiting the purchaser of the sacred ball park delicacy? Well, Cracker Jack has been kinda slacking on the whole toy thing. My recent visit to a baseball game left me unsatisfied in the toy department upon purchase of my box of Cracker Jacks; my "surprise" was a piece of paper that was to be folded in the shape of Benjamin Franklin. It was a surprise, and I guess Cracker Jack is going for disappointing shock value now. I felt betrayed, duped, completely empty inside. I purchased a sugary product in hopes that the surprise inside would be just as unnecessary and lacking in any sort of nutritional and/or educational value. Well, thanks Cracker Jacks, I learned something.
Cracker Jacks, you used to be cool
Bribing by Means of Joy...or is it Vice Versa?
Cracker Jacks, name brand cereals, fast food children's meals, banking accounts, credit cards, and even some candies have one thing in common: bribery. These products may or may not be good enough to live on their own consumption, but in fact need some sort of incentive for the consumer in order to purchase the product. It's not just toys in sugary items, it's also ipods with the set up of a checking account, or 25,000 bonus miles for signing up for a credit card that you are sure to use responsibly. Companies have found ways to convince the consumer, with a sleight of hand, that they need their particular product. The incentive makes all the difference. There has been public outcry for the removal of such "incentives", and McDonalds Happy Meals are the most recent item under public scrutiny.
Don't Pretend you never Ate a McDonalds Happy Meal for the Toy
I get it, toys as an incentive to eat crappy food is probably not the most moral outcome of the past century, but come on, suing McDonalds over it? Of course, this is the same company that was sued for not labeling their coffee "hot" and are now required by law to have a "caution: contents hot" label on each cup containing a hot beverage. I guess there is no such thing as common sense, and it lies in the laps of corporations and business alike to warn and care for the people. So thank you McDonalds for warning me my hot beverage is hot, god forbid I would have to guess the temperature, kind of like when I order a soft drink and the little dimple isn't pushed down and I subsequently have no idea what I'm drinking.
Times are tough, apparently, and it is no different for non profit organizations like The Center for Science in the Public Interest who are heading the lawsuit against McDonalds. They must need some serious dough to try and go after McDonalds. They probably lost funding because some grant writer fudged and missed a deadline. Believe me, I love nothing better than a public interest group helping out in the pursuit of greater good, but taking toys away from the children is absolutely disastrous. Just think, these kids will grow up without the wonderful pleasures of toys made by other children for sub-par wages in far off countries. What ever will they do?!
First it was cereal dismantling the additions of toys in their boxes. No more would there be nondescript pieces of plastic made out to be a character of whatever was famous at the time. I feel the cereal companies failed us when they let that law take over. Mcdonalds, don't let the same fate happen to you. Stand up, fight for your right as Americans to include a tantalizing gift that will almost surely guarantee the purchase of your greastrap. If the Happy Meal is so bad for kids, surely parents wouldn't let their kids eat it, right? I mean, all parents have complete control over what their kids eat anyway, why do we need some good-for-nothing organization come in and tell us we can't have toys. After all, have you looked on eBay recently, those old McDonalds toys are going for some serious cash. Thank God I ate there as often as I did, because I can make a comfortable living selling my accumulated treasures to lonely, possibly obese, men trying to live out the glory days of their parents feigning interest and purchasing Happy Meals in lieu of actually cooking. <---Run-on sentence? Yes. Wholly Judgmental? Yes.
I apologize.
But seriously, I collected those beanie babies like they were meth...not that I enjoy doing meth, but rather I need to support the habit...get it?
LET THEM HAVE TOYS!
No comments:
Post a Comment